The family
22 years without a dog…
My Grandmother always said “If you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas”. I never knew what that really meant when she said it to me, I was only 7 at the time and none of our dogs ever gave us fleas, but they were never allowed to sleep in our beds either. It wasn’t until long after she was gone that a fully understood what she meant and how true that one little quote wound up playing a huge part of 22 years of my life.
Since I was a small child I always loved animals, but what child doesn’t? O.K. maybe future psychopaths and children that belong to parents that hate animals, but for the most part, all children love animals. We always had dogs at home. Pudgy was a Cocker Spaniel and the first dog that I came home from the hospital to. I don’t remember too much about Pudgy, but I do have pictures and I remember certain objects in the photos, I remember that she was our dog. I do not know what happened to her even though I know stories of dogs that came before me, so it must have been tragic and that is why I was never told the story.
After Pudgy, we got GiGi. A white champagne colored Toy Poodle and shortly after her we somehow acquired Chou Chou, a super tiny white tea cup Poodle. I suppose I was still too young to know any of the details of these acquisitions, but being young, I didn’t care, I had dogs. Crazy dogs. I loved them. I would dress them up in my baby doll clothes and take them for rides in my baby doll carriage and pretend they were my children. I didn’t have to feed them or clean up after them, I just had to love and play with them.
We also had parakeets, one green and one blue. I named them Johnny Ray and Mel after my God Parents. We had the random turtle, tadpole, guinea pig too. Lucky for us we had a Pet Shop at the end of our block and my sister and would go up there with our allowance and purchase more pets, but we were never allowed to bring fish into the house. That never stopped me. I would buy them, sneak them inside of my school bag and my Grandmother would flush them down the toilet. She said they were bad luck and I was living in a very superstitious house, so I stopped buying fish. You can read more about all of the superstitions I grew up with (and there are many), but here is a link to a very good list and I have heard of all of them http://www.oldsuperstitions.com/
My love for fish turned into an affection for kittens. Any kind of kitten, I just wanted a kitten. Of course, I wasn’t allowed to have a kitten in the house. Do you think that stopped me? Hell no, I started going through the neighborhood in search of a kitten. Wishing for a kitten and I found this tiny little black and white kitten wandering the streets, or from my Mother’s version of the story, I stole it from a neighbor. I brought my new little kitten home and put him or her up into the pink blooming Mimosa tree in our front yard and I climbed up after it and sat in that tree for hours with my new fury friend. When it came time to go in for the evening and go to bed, I snuck the kitty up to my bedroom and under my covers. Yay, it worked and I had a kitten unbeknownst to any of the other 7 members of my family, including the two dogs.
All of a sudden there was a crash, yelling, screaming and dogs barking at 3:00 a.m. The house was in total chaos and I was in BIG trouble. My Grandfather got me out of bed, told me to get the kitten and take it back to where I got it from. I pleaded with him, telling him that it was lost and I had found it. He helped me on with my rain boots and coat, gave me a flashlight and sent me on my way. I cried and cried and pleaded. Come on, I was 7 years old for crying out loud, but a lesson had to be taught. My Mother told me 40 years later that she and my Grandfather stood at the kitchen window and cried watching me out in the rain with my baby kitten taking it back to where ever it was that I “stole” it from. After that I didn’t ever have another kitten until I was 25 years old.
On my 9th birthday, GiGi gave birth to her and Chou Chou’s puppies inside of my nieces playpen that was set up in the dining room of our house. Three beautiful white and champagne toy/miniature Poodles. I picked one out right away as soon as I saw her being born. My FiFi. Good thing I picked her because the other two pups didn’t make it. One was still born or GiGi sat on her while it was being born, the other died within a few days. FiFi was MY dog, my very first dog. I loved her from the moment she was born. I did everything with FiFi and GiGi and Chou Chou. My three French Poodles.
As all things do, GiGi was ageing and not well and little Chou Chou (transaltion is little cabbage), was eaten by a neighbor’s dog that jumped the fence on a frozen, snow covered February day and broke his neck in two shakes. My heart was broken as was my Grandmother for the loss of her beloved Chou. My sister ran out and purchased a tiny toy Poodle from the Pet Shop at the Mall and presented her to my Grandmother the following morning on St. Valentine’s Day. She had a red bow and ribbon around her neck, too cute to refuse, but my Grandmother did. So, baby Suzette became my Mother’s dog while my Grandmother was grieving. It was 1978, I was only 13 and my sister 23. What did we even really know about grieving let alone how a dog could affect us. Too young to know much of anything really.
I grew up, I moved out, got married and had a child of my own. All the while thinking of how every child needs a dog. I did get my daughter a kitten, but I really was not in a position to give it a good life so I gave her to my best friend to care for. Trixie was her name and she lived to be 20 years old. When my daughter was 8 and we were in a better place in our lives I decided to give it another go and we went to the shelter and picked out a beautiful and feisty white and tabby little boy kitten. She named him Clover; I called him Clovey. Clovey was the best cat ever. He was just like a dog. He was probably a dog/cat because I only grew up with dogs and only knew how to respond to them. I taught him how to fetch, he even ate my daughter’s homework once. He could wake up my daughter for school on command by nuzzling her chin in the morning and he knew how to open and close the front door to let himself out. I never thought I would get over the loss of Clovey and despite the fact that I did adopt a brother and sister Maine Coon Persian pair and came to love them, I could not speak of Clovey for closed to 10 years without crying.
It was 22 years before I ever shared a home with another dog again and SugarPlum was my instant soul mate. A beautiful baby girl Golden Retriever that was originally purchased for my Mother for Christmas 2006. She was our Christmas Puppy. I did everything with Sugar. I took her to the park every Saturday, bought her new babies every week and made sure she was groomed every few weeks. I even cleaned up my Mom’s yard several times a week. Sug was and is a lot of work, but you cannot buy that kind of love a girl has for her dog and her dog for her girl. Sug and I have a very special relationship and my heart feels full again having her in my life.
It was easy and convenient having Sugar in my life part-time. I had the means to pay for everything she needed, could play with her and love her up and then leave her with my Mom as a companion so that I could go off and do as I pleased. Travel, work and socialize. I did not have the full responsibility so it was easy. Having two cats at home, they were easy too. Give them food, water and clean boxes and they were good to go. It too was easy to ask for someone to come in and care for them if I was going on vacation or travel for work. Cats do not require much, but they were MY cats and I spoiled them as all animals should be spoiled. I was very particular on who cared for my babies while I was away.
It only made sense when my Mother was nearing the end of her life that we would make some contingent plans. Those plans included who would care for her beloved SugarPlum. She would not have it any other way than to have her come live with me. She knew that I not only had the means, but the love that she would want for her beloved. I never fully expected that Sug would out live my Mother, but I gladly brought her to my home and still keeping my promise, I care for her knowing that she was and is my Mother’s most precious gift.
I am not sure what was worse, grieving the loss of my Mother or witnessing the grief of our girl Suggy. She would lay out by the road and wait for my Mother. Day after day, it was painful to tell her that she was not coming. I think that it made my grief worse to look into Suggy’s eyes and know how much pain she must be in and not being able to fully understand that my Mom was gone.
I tried everything to try and get Sugar to be happy again. Offering to go to the park or a ride to the store, which she always loved, no longer was incentive enough to get her to get up and out. She no longer has any enthusiasm or spark in her eye. I called out to my Mother for help, I called out to the Angels for help and I called out to my Spirit Guides for help. Please help me figure a way to make her happy again. The answers always will show themselves as signs or ideas that pop into my head and boy did I get an idea. I got the bright idea to get Sugar a friend. Since my entire lifestyle changed having Sugar live here full time one more dog would not impede my life anymore that it was. I started searching for the perfect breed that would fit our family. I researched and checked out what type of dog would get along and be sweet to not only Sugar, but to my two babies – Missy and Coal, my kitties. I did not want another big dog as I have a tiny house. Once I had narrowed it down to 3 breeds, I started searching shelters. I wanted to give a dog that really needed a home a new life and lots of love.
I ran into problem after problem with the many shelters and Petfinder sites that I tried and every dog that we wanted was either taken or had other people that were promised ahead of me. Then my daughter found Oy. The baby Pomeranian. He was only 6 weeks old and looking for a good home. The rest is history and I announced to Suggy that she was getting her very own baby.
With the announcement, Suggy sat up and had a spark in her eye. It was she knew exactly what I was saying to her. I know it sounds crazy to some, but I asked Suggy if she wanted to go shopping with me to buy her new baby a bed and some toys. She grabbed a few of her babies and ran to the front door ready to go shopping. Together, we went to PetSmart and picked out toys and a new bed and supplies. I even have a photo of her bringing the bed from my car into our house. She was ready and excited. It would not surprise me if my Mother came to her and told her, in Spirit, what was truly happening.
Getting ready for the new baby
Life has never been the same since that baby came home to us. Sugar came back to her old self, with more life and enthusiasm; like she was a pup again, herself. Fast forward to this Christmas, 2015 and we now have a full house. Two Persian-Maine Coon brother and sister kitties, Sugar, the Golden Retriever, Oy, the Pomeranian , Barley the Beagle and our three Mallard Ducks, Mr and Mrs. Coupleton and Mr. Singleton. My daughter brought home a Beagle pup she rescued from an acquaintance that was abusing this poor sweet boy and now he got to experience the magic of his first Christmas in our home and bringing even more life and excitement to our house every day. They consume so much of my time, but my heart has opened to what true love is, unconditional love. I have such a deep connection to all of my babies and I understand them, they understand me. They know that I will always be there for them and I know they are always here for me, just to love and that is really all I need. They have helped me see how we has humans should treat each other and they have shown me how I want to be treated by other humans and to love and respect myself more. It is so simple, love, yet can be one of the most complicated emotions at the same time, but really, why does it have to be so complicated? Take it from animals to just BE, to love without really expecting anything else back in return except reciprocated love. The happiness of seeing your human come home and the wagging of the tail, that is how we should live every day.
Most people in my life think I am crazy and maybe I am – that I care and worry about my loves and work my schedule around their lives and needs, I do not expect anyone to understand; to me this is my promise when I brought them into my home, to love and care for them and to give them a wonderful life during their short time here on Earth. I am the lucky one, I am the one who is blessed and grateful for their presence in my life for I am forever changed and a better human today. They teach me selflessness, patience, love, gratitude – the list is endless. I will say though, 9 years later and I still have not gotten used to cleaning up their poo, I’ll never get over that or get used to that.
The moral of my story is to never let 22 years pass without a dog. The love and lessons you gain are priceless. My life was empty and meaningless for 22 years, too long.